what good is knowledge that disturbs and doesn't empower? what good is it to be aware of dystopia and doom and not be able to do anything about it? what good is truth if it doesn't set u free?
i wish i could surreally believe in the claims of supposed 'near death experiences' involving disembodiment and ultimate peace and joy, encountering a god of pure light/love. sheeple who claim they no longer fear death, perceiving it now as merely a transition. a transition in most cases to something better than 'this life'.
i wish this because our dystopian and doomed world very often disgusts as well as disturbs me, and i'd just as soon leave it sooner rather than later, if only indeed i could be convinced that dying is nothing to fear, death but an illusion. to no longer have to be subject and witness to the suffering and disillusionment (or is it illusionment?) of this world, 'this life'. how wonderful it would be to be able to choose freely, confidently, and joyfully to end it, or trade it in for a much improved, if not heavenly existence!
unfortunately, whatever god or non-god is responsible or not responsible for 'this life', my life, was unable or unwilling to endow such a gift, such an empowering gift. rather there is the curse of a strong survival instinct, a will to live despite life's attendant suffering and sorrow, a perverse will that can have masochistic consequences. one would think that a loving god would never have created such a curse, nor a world of suffering and sorrow. a loving god would never create a dystopian and doomed world, would it?! an inherently flawed, finite, vulnerable, and mortal world populated by inherently flawed, finite, vulnerable, and mortal beings. if this is the product of love, i'd hate to see the universe a hateful god would manifest!
yep. i'm fed up with my disturbing, disgruntled, dystopian and doomed existence. i want something better! and i want it now!
hah! my desires are nothing. they exist, but i didn't choose them. it's more like they chose me. i didn't choose to exist. existence chose me, or i just happened, everything just happens, with no design or purpose.
'this life' isn't all bad, but if there's something better beyond the vale of death, and it's nothing to fear, the rational choice would be suicide. maybe a controlled martyrdom, try to endow a gift to those left behind in this mortal world, as other martyrs have. but possessing only the illusion, not the surreality, of free will, such rational choices remain but a dream. and i remain stuck in 'this life', afraid of death, and dying.
https://www.pbs.org/video/into-the-night-portraits-of-life-and-death-f1qjqf/
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