I Want To Change My Mind!

just finished another book about the immense potential psychedelics have for therapeutic use and their ongoing suppression by a dogmatic puritanical establishment which may harbor multiple ulterior motives for their prohibition, titled ACID TEST. probably not as compelling as michael pollan's HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, but very good. it's focus was mainly on the use of mdma (aka 'ecstasy') for treatment of ptsd.

i'm dying to try mdma and perhaps some other psychedelics like psylocybin but thanks to prohibition might have to travel a long way or perhaps develop a trustworthy underground contact to do so under optimal conditions in which i could be assured the drug is pure and the setting therapeutic.

i'm a very troubled individual for many reasons (living in dystopia the main one). i'm full of resentment and rage, alienated, with an uncanny ability to alienate others. i have no close friends or allies i can trust completely. a radical shift in perspective is called for, which is why i may try relocating to a place like oregon. i need something to live for and someone to love.

this blog might be the closest thing i currently do that gives my life purpose, but without readers what good is it? without close friends and lover(s) life is pretty empty.

link below is of rick doblin of MAPS on the lex fridman show, a 2 1/2 hour long deep discussion about the therapeutic use of psychedelics to solve very treatment resistant forms of environmentally induced psychological disturbances, like severe ptsd:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tUiLxtrLxk

and here's an excellent discussion on the use of psilocybin mushrooms as therapy for grief:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ3WM12H2Fs

Civilized To Death

just finished re-reading Civilized to Death by christopher ryan, published and first read 4 years ago. in it ryan argues that humans evolved as hunter gatherers living in small intimate groups in which a great degree of cooperation and sharing of resources was the rule, and that this way of life was optimal to human happiness. by contrast, civilized humans generally live in large cities in which intimacy is lost and competition and selfishness rule, much to the loss of our happiness.

imo he's an extremely intelligent guy and this view is well supported by the evidence he presents. here's a link to an 80 minute long interview with him that's excellent:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHifuRNsWNQ

in both the book and in the last 15 minutes of this interview he makes a very insightful analogy between a species of grasshoppers in northern africa and people, making the point that environmental conditions play a huge role regarding how animal nature manifests itself. under certain conditions, benign grasshoppers become aggressive cannabalistic locusts which devour everything in their path. likewise, as hunter gatherers humans are a benign species that lives an ecologically durable lifestyle in harmony with nature, but when we adopted agriculture and became civilized, that all changed, and now we're like locusts devouring the planet.
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feb.3 is the late michael ruppert's birthday. he would be 72 this year had he lived, but he killed himself with a bullet to the brain 9 years ago at the age of 63 (1 year younger than i am now). i think his suicide was an act of love, as he understood that earth was over populated with sheeple, had done all he could in his life to warn of the coming collapse of civilization, and  killed himself as an of sacrifice for future generations.

ruppert was among the most well known radical truth seekers and speakers of his day, a dystopian doomer who wrote books and appeared in several documentaries. among other things he tried to expose cia international drug trafficking, the 9/11 conspiracy, and peak oil.

peak oil's an interesting subject. it was a major topic of doom discussion 20 years ago, when many predicted the collapse of civilization was imminent due to it, which of course has yet to materialize, i think because of the development of new technologies like fracking which allowed drillers to access previously unaccessable deposits of fossil fuels in shale rock. also the development of more efficient engines has temporarily delayed the onset of collapse, but i remain certain it's coming pretty soon, if not in my lifetime, soon after.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVmgeiW_GNQ&list=PL68946D564648432A