stranger in a strange land

i'd love to live in a world that wasn't foreign and hostile. the strangest thing about it is that i seem to be the only human who is bothered by or even notices that we're living in a world of severe sexual repression, inhibition, and mandatory shame. hence the name of this essay, taken from the book title whose plot involves an actual alien, a martian, who comes to earth and doesn't fit in with humanity for this reason.

although no one reads what i write here i still don't feel totally free to speak my mind, as there's nothing to be gained and much to be potentially lost in doing so. even though i don't feel free, what freedom i now possess could easily be rescinded by my oppressive society should it become known that i'm a sexual anarchist who longs to live in a society in which there are no laws or attitudes inhibiting sexual expression.

perhaps such a desire flies in the face of a natural world in which it appears most species sexual behavior is dominated by male competition for access to females and extreme possessiveness on the part of those few lucky males that effectively possess harems of females to mate with. of course in order to obtain and maintain such privilege, these dominant males must be constantly vigilant and willing and able to fight other males who seek to displace them. as far as i know, there is only one species, close relatives to us, bonobo chimps, in which this is not the case, nor do they have to contend with governmental mandates. they're true free lovers, utterly uninhibited and promiscuous, which seems to not only work well for them but also facilitates a society of peaceful cooperation and sharing of food.

that's another thing that bothers me about this world that doesn't seem to bother anyone else (except for many vegans) in the slightest: the fact that in order to eat, other organisms must be killed or harvested, beings possessing sentience just like us which don't wish to be killed and eaten. this sad state of affairs can only be blamed upon god, should god exist. seems to me that an omnipotent benevolent creator would not have created a world such as this.

getting back to my original premise, to adopt the mortal words of the late george carlin, 'nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care' that humans live with mandatory sexual repression and shame with 'laws' prohibiting prostitution and consensual sex acts or merely free discussion between so-called 'adults' and 'children'. instead, laws and common attitudes to the effect that such behavior is or would be abominable prevail, much to the approval of my fellow humans, but much to my own chagrin, such that i can hardly identify as one of my own kind. much like michael valentine smith, i feel as though i'm a stranger living in a strange land.

p.s. i just did a search and discovered that i wrote an essay very similar to this 3 years ago:

https://dystopiananddoomed.blogspot.com/2023/03/stranger-in-strange-and-hostile-land.html

Christianity Taught You to Distrust Your Own Body

in this video britt hartley captures the essence of why christianity is toxic. it ought to be part of every child's education (and every brainwashed christian adult's deprogramming).

(10) Christianity Taught You to Distrust Your Own Body - YouTube

let’s stay human

below is an excerpt from an inspired article recently published by caitlin johnstone:

As things get more and more dystopian, simply holding fast to your humanity becomes an act of rebellion.

Let’s Stay Human – Caitlin Johnstone

an angel incarnate!?

love dolly parton's drive, focus, self-esteem/belief, talent, shersonability and success, and especially her compassionate heart. been watching a PBS profile of her again (part of their august fund-raising specials) which makes manifest all these virtuous qualities of Her's in spades.

Dolly Parton - Me And Little Andy

Dolly Parton Me and Little Andy Lyrics - Search

Coat of Many Colors

been a huge fan of dolly parton after reading her first memoir and seeing her video of her cover of john lennon's IMAGINE many years ago. this favorite song of hers below always gets me emotional, it's lyrical story of a daughter's pride in her mother's love for her overcoming any sense of inferiority associated with growing up poor in class-conscious america.

Coat of Many Colors (song) - Search

lost opportunities and shattered dreams

 Oh, I've got something inside me

Not what my life's about
'Cause I've been letting my outside tide me
Over 'til my time runs out

this lyric from the beautiful and profound harry chapin song TAXI has meaning to me. my life's about surfing on the surface, being superficial and sometimes deceitful in my relationships and public face, as i conceal what i believe to be the most important thoughts and feelings from others (the public), which may be succinctly summed up as perceiving my world as dystopian and doomed. i've been doing this pretty much my entire life (i'll be 25,000 days old soon) and it appears very likely i'll continue to do so until i die.

this lyric is sung with great passion and intensity in the middle of the song, and perhaps gets overlooked as it falls outside the lyrical narrative of the song, which is described quite well here:

Taxi (Harry Chapin song) - Wikipedia

and is itself a profoundly wistful take on life's lost opportunities and shattered dreams.

Harry Chapin - Taxi | Live 1974 on The Scene | 4K UHD Remaster

can psychedelic experience convince one otherwise?

 

Message Body

to be perfectly clear, it's not like it's hard to think of a good cause to pursue as a life's work that would be fulfilling to achieve and give one a sense of purpose and meaning. what is hard is imagining achieving success, given the dystopian circumstances.

for example, we are constantly being gaslit by government and corporate media over a wide range of things, including quite prominently, the genocide of palestinians by israel, which also with the full backing of the usa bombs and invades it's neighbor to the north, lebanon, killing thousands and displacing millions. israel was established by genocidal violence, much like our own country, and it has been maintained ever since as a jewish supremacist apartheid state, and yet it is always portrayed in the media as a victim, not a perpetrator of war crimes and human rights abuses. this has been going on for decades. many if not a great majority of americans are or were until recently bamboozled by this propaganda, i think partly because many sheeple can't deal with the discomfort or cognitive dissonance of facing these awful facts, of opposing the establishment and becoming social pariahs if they do, including myself, to some extent. yet it drives me crazy to see it happen and be powerless to change it, to be effectively if unwillingly complicit in what amounts to a society wide charade of deceit and delusion.

how can things be so fucked up? more broadly, if there is a god, it must be complicit, it must be responsible, not just for the cruelty and folly of our species, but for a world of sentient beings including all species which like our own, must suffer greatly when they are injured, starving, freezing, burning, or being devoured alive. has it ever occurred to u that god might be more devilish than saintly, might be a sadistic practical joker, might in some way derive sustenance or pleasure from our pain? it certainly has occurred to me. maybe that's why life exists.

there is also the isolation of pondering such things when others are unable or unwilling to do so. this includes the fact that civilization acts like ecological cancer and is busily sowing the seeds of its own destruction, including by disrupting climate. it's all quite overwhelming to contemplate, much less do anything about that would be at all effective. so there is this sense that this experience or ride or whatever one wishes to call it is a nasty piece of work that has a nightmarish quality to it, which all suggests, once again, that if there is a god, it just might be more evil than good, and this existence more hellish than heavenly, so that it might be better to be dead than alive. but then again, who knows what awaits us or our consciousness beyond death? could be more of the same, perhaps just different circumstances. perhaps this is hell from which there is no escape, not even death. can psychedelic experience convince one otherwise?