most of the women on chaturbate encourage small tippers like me by posting that 'all tips are appreciated' and often acknowledging them with a little smile or nod, but last night i encountered one who didn't.
a little background: cam models on chaturbate work for tips. my understanding is that they receive 5 cents for every token tipped. tokens cost the tipper 10 cents each, but this is reduced to about 8 cents when purchased 1,000 at a time.
most cam models attract few if any viewers and make little if any money. the more popular ones, generally the most attractive ones, attract quite a few if not hundreds or thousands of viewers, and can make lots of money. i think i recall one tip of 1,000,000 tokens, which would be $50,000! more commonly, the most successful models, say the top 1%, can receive tips totaling in the neighborhood of 1,000 to 10,000 tokens/hr., or $50 to $500/hr. very good money for pretty easy work one can do in the comfort of home, with a little cash outlay for equipment.
like most patrons, i prefer the very attractive ones. not being rich, i'm not a big tipper, but i like to show my appreciation to attractive models with good attitudes who turn me on by tipping them usually somewhere between 10 to 50 tokens, and writing something complimentary like 'great tits!' or 'exquisite beauty!'. i generally tip more to those who for some reason are struggling to attract viewers and make money. i figure the ones making tons of money don't need my little tips.
i came across this one last night who certainly belonged among the top 1% going by her looks. she was extremely pretty and petite, but she only had about 10 viewers. this info. is shown, along with how long the model has been online for the current session, and who have been her top 3 tippersduring that session, along with how much she'd been tipped. she had been online over an hour, and yet the total of her top 3 was less than 50 tokens, indicating she'd made very little in that time, only a couple of bucks perhaps. no doubt this was due to the fact that unlike most models, she wasn't showing a lot. most models go fully nude, many are topless, and a few reserve such things for 'private sessions', which are more expensive and exclusive, only open to those who agree to pay a certain amount of tokens per minute for admission.
she was only showing some bare shoulder and chest along with her face. no leg, cleavage or nipples poking through clothing. i tipped her several small increments totaling about 15 tokens, made a complimentary comment, said i wanted to see more of her, asked her to stand up and back away from the camera so i could see her whole clothed body. she suggested i take her to a private session, which i declined. she declined my request. i left her 'room' to check out some other models as is my wont, and when i retured to her room some time later was shocked to see that i'd been banned from her room.
it's my understanding that chaturbate models can ban anyone from their 'room', making it impossible for them to be viewed by that individual, for any reason, but such action is generally reserved for those who make disruptive or rude remarks or make repeated requests without any tip. it's pretty common to see someone get banned, but had not happened to me before, not by any of the hundreds of models whose 'rooms' i've visited. i've never given anyone any reason to ban me, and i don't think i gave this one any good reason. apparently she was simply miffed that i didn't want to take her private and asked a very little favor of her after tipping her a very little. apparently she doesn't appreciate patrons in her room who aren't willing to spend a lot for the privilege of seeing her. of course, most don't tip at all, just lurk, but by making myself noticeable i was singled out for banning.
i bring all this up because it hurt my feelings a little bit by reminding me of all the rejection i've experienced from more women than i can recall over the past 50+ years, going back to my childhood. this calls for a little background.
i suspect i was primed to expect rejection from girls/women from my mother, who had some severe issues with men and sex which she dumped on me, letting me know repeatedly as a young child that she hated both, found them 'disgusting'. this was exacerbated by being given a rudimentary (rude!) catholic education that emphasized shit like it was a 'sin' to even have 'impure' thoughts. i grew up feeling ashamed, unloved, and fearful of eternal damnation.
i'm not a bad looking guy and i'm smart, but i've almost always struggled socially and felt very anxious when dealing with very attractive girls/women who i wished to be with. consequently, i've experienced a lot of rejection and humiliation at their hands.
even with some prostitutes i've paid a lot of money to, i've been made to feel unattractive, even repulsive. here it must be emphasized however, that i'm referring to relatively well off american women and in one case a german who i met while in the navy overseas.
with relatively poor prostitutes from mexico, i've had much better experiences. one in particular was a revelation to me. i had met her in a bar where she agreed to come back to my nearby hotel room for an hour of sex for $30. she was very attractive and hygienic, in her mid 20s. in the privacy of my room she was very relaxed and comfortable with me. she allowed me to kiss her passionately on the lips. she didn't act like there was anything unpleasant at all about taking off her clothes, spreading her legs, and having me insert my condomed penis in her vagina. she didn't make any faces, didn't try to hurry me. after i climaxed and we got dressed, she was just as nice to me as she'd been before. as a result, i patronized her many more times in the future, as i could easily afford such a wonderful, life affirming treat on a fairly regular basis.
i've since wondered long and often what there is about me that makes me so resistable to american women, and why so many of them act as though to reinforce the very negative stereotype i received from my mother of women as sexually frigid beings. i suspect it's partly due to my lack of confidence with them, and partly due to being relatively 'unsuccessful' while living in an affluent society which is also quite puritanical, especially discouraging to women with sex-positive inclinations.
thus i think/dream of traveling to places like the philippines where guys like me can experience success with very attractive women, which besides being exquisitely pleasurable, is a great boost to self esteem!
here's another compelling testimony of rejecting dogmatic faith in favor of freethought:
https://infidels.org/library/modern/testimonials/bradley.html
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