All by myself

Hard to be sure

Sometimes I feel so insecure
And love so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself, don't wanna be
All by myself, anymore
All by myself, don't wanna live
All by myself, anymore

lyrics from a 1975 eric carmen song

i don't know why my copy and paste computer function sometimes leaves a space between lines that shouldn't be there, like in the lyrics above. sorry.

these lyrics apply to me. it's hard having no one to be authentic with, to feel and have a solid healthy respectful and trusting relationship. to have a shared worldview in common, forming the basis for such bonds. to be a part of a community, rather than a spiritual outcast living on the margins of society, a profoundly sick society that is dystopian and doomed. a society that scoffs at (the very rare) cassandras like me, and will continue to do so until the feces hits the fan, by which time it will be far too late to heed our warnings.

getting back on topic, i lack social ability, or sociability. i think this is the primary reason i'm all by myself. i don't know if anyone or anything can fix this, but i think if anything can, it's likely consciousness expanding drug(s), which is why i'm keen to experiment carefully with them.