ho hum, another day, another israeli war crime using american supplied arms

 just about every day since the most recent israeli war began last october, there's been news reports of israel murdering scores of palestinian civilians in gaza, where they live and die like sitting ducks who have no where to flee to escape this insane violence. today was no different, just as the reporting of it on american tv news was no different. it's reported with absolutely no sense of outrage, no sense that this bombing of defenseless civilians is an outrageous atrocity. apparently palestinian lives aren't worthy of such outrage from america's 'independent' media. otoh, whenever  there's a 'terrorist attack' by some palestinian who's rightfully fed-up with what israel has been doing to his people, perhaps a suicide bombing that kills one or 2 or a few israelis, it's reported much differently. this ongoing disparity in reporting this deadly violence is sickening, just as is the ongoing steadfast american government support in terms of supplying free military aid and political cover to the war criminal israeli regime. as is the american sheeple's apparent indifference or lack of awareness to this disparity. if the american sheeple had any brains and compassion they might just perceive it and demand an end to it by refusing to continue to support the zionist political parties that enable it. however i'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen and u shouldn't either. i don't recall who it was that said or wrote something to the effect that it's impossible to over estimate the stupidity or gullibility of the public, but they were certainly right!

low self esteem

 “Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.”

― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

there's probably some truth to that quote.

i didn't sleep very well last night. plagued by unsettling dreams, mostly now forgotten except for their tenor/theme, which dealt with my social isolation and my sense that this is a curse from which there seems to be no escape. loneliness with women in particular, due to my lack of confidence with those to whom i'm physically attracted. this probably stems from having an unloving mother who let me know in no uncertain terms as a young child that she hated sex and men. my parents marriage was deeply troubled; my mother seemed to hate her home life, which made me think as i got older that she probably only got married and stayed married out of convenience, as it gave her free room and board, freedom from having to earn a living, free money to go out and drink and smoke in bars, which she did every day as i got older, neglecting her family. (my father too seemed to have very little interest in my sister and i.)  i often wonder now how differently my life may have been had i come from a happy home with attentive nurturing as a child.

particularly as i've gotten older i've been plagued by such dreams occasionally. by contrast, i recall only one time a dream with a theme of 'doom' for our planet. it seems in retrospect it may have been a prophetic dream, as in it i was in a city flooded by sea water with very tall skyscrapers (manhattan?). that dream didn't upset me like the ones in which i feel cursed to be lonely do, just as when i'm awake, i'm much more perturbed by my personal problems than by the awareness that civilization is destroying the ecosphere.

which brings us back to the carlin quote above. maybe if i wasn't so selfish, maybe if i cared more about the tragedy of planetary doom and less about my own relatively petty personal travails, i wouldn't be trapped in this prison of isolation. maybe in this sense i deserve this curse of isolation and low self esteem.

at least there's a cool song / music video about having no self esteem:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-GVMRLeaVs

Left gatekeepers

 Barrie Zwicker hasn't got back to me. This may be due to his age;  he'll turn 90 in a few months. As far as i can tell, he hasn't put out any new work or made any public internet posts for several years.

Tonite i'm pondering the case of Robert Scheer, a 'radical' Lefty journalist and author. I've read a fair amount of his writing, mostly in Playboy magazine years ago, and been a great admirer. 

His position on 9/11 is odd. It reminds me of Noam Chomsky's. Zwicker in his book had a whole chapter on Chomsky's puzzling dismissive rejection of the JFK  assassination and 9/11 'conspiracy theories' that these events involved high level governmental involvement and cover-up of the truth. Likewise Scheer only goes so far as to say that the government could and should have prevented the attacks from happening, leaving open the question whether this was because of incompetence or deliberate conspiracy.

It's nigh impossible to believe that sheeple as smart as Chomsky and Scheer could fall for the official lies or narratives of these events, which leads me to think that like Chomsky, Scheer must be a Left gatekeeper. That is, someone who accumulates much respect and credibility among Left 'radicals' but for whatever reason refuses to explore or acknowledge the deepest darkest aspects/secrets of the establishment, thus misleading many of their admirers by dissuading them from doing so themselves.

 I have an email address for Scheer and thought of writing him about this for a moment. He's just a year younger than Zwicker, but unlike Zwick, is still publishing work. However, it would probably/ almost certainly would be a waste of time, as I doubt if he would admit to either being an actual government agent, or merely being savvy enough to understand the boundaries he can't cross if he wishes to avoid the dirty attacks and smears (smear scheer!) one must expect if one is both prominent and the sort of truly radical critic who obliterates the boundaries of acceptable criticism of said establishment.