in pursuit of commiserative companionship

My purpose in writing this blog is ultimately about seeking connection with compatible sheeple. I don't know why i've failed so miserably. I've reached out to relatively compatible local groups, even posted the url on more presumably more widely read places like youtube in comments to videos. no followers, no readers. What am i doing this for?

it just seems crazy to act like everything's hunky dory when it's not. we're living a dystopian nightmare or at least i am. the oblivious masses don't appear to be.

i have an adult child who has chosen to have no relationship with me for the past 16 years, although the reason for that may have nothing to do with my being a miserable doomer. From their facebook page i gather they're living a relatively happy and fulfilling life. This pleases me, and impels me to not be the one to break our estrangement. They know how to reach me if and when they want to. When they don't, i think it may be for the best. Blissful ignorance is preferable to dismal awareness.

being a doomer is lonely, as is being acutely aware of dystopia. so lonely. but i've been lonely much longer than i've been a dystopian doomer.

the society / nation in which i live doesn't allow me to be authentic, open and honest in public, and to do so in private has proved to be unrewarding as well. dystopian.

apparently very few if any sheeple agree with or relate well to any of the above. my typical writing, similar to much of what i've written here before, has not garnered me a following, not a single follower. is it my writing or worldview that turns them off. i think mostly the latter.

actually, what has me so down now has nothing to do with any of this. it's having to deal with a shersonal matter that is quite unpleasant, vexing, and not easily or quickly disposable. relatively petty bs that is just part of my / our dystopian nightmare in an 'advanced civilization' which routinely imposes petty bs on us. for me it's terribly frustrating to have to deal with relatively petty time and spirit consuming bs  when i'd much rather be free to at least try to grapple with these much more important global matters in a would-be public forum like this blog in pursuit of commiserative companionship.