i'm currently reading a book that's sort of a bio of stephen miller titled HATEMONGER. a couple things strike me in the early going of it. first, his jewish ancestors came to america to flea european persecution and in doing so may have saved themselves from annhilation in the holocaust. they became ardent zionists and in fact his maternal great grandfather became such good friends with the 'father' of israel, david ben gurion, that ben gurion was at his wedding. anyway this makes me speculate that a good part of the ruthlessness that now characterizes the state of israel as well as stephen miller could come from a ruthless desire to survive in a very hostile world.
my second observation applies not only to miller but his benefactor trump and others of trump's inner circle: they're over-privileged malignant narcissists, and as it follows, assholes, who have thrived in america, while their opposition, the so-called radical left, is persecuted (as in the case of a group of largely peaceful anti-ICE protesters who were just sentenced to decades in prison as supposed 'domestic terrorists'). it's appalling and stupefying that this is so. only in dystopia!
70 Years for Protesting? The Prairieland Case Should Terrify Everyone
also been reading a fairly recent xray mike essay making similar observations only backing them up with much documentation including the links below.
Trump’s Relentless Self-Promotion Fosters an American Cult of Personality - The New York Times
Trump's $1.5 trillion defense budget could be political suicide for Republicans.
having had a day to reflect on the above, there's this disturbing revelation: i too am an over-privileged malignant narcissist. i care much more about my near term well being than about the long term well being of life on earth. this may be mitigated somewhat by knowing i can't change fate, but could well get in a world of shit by trying too hard, as did the martyrs mentioned in this brief video:
i've been wondering about god if it exists. why create a dystopian and doomed world full of flawed, limited, vulnerable, and mortal beings capable of acute pain and suffering? maybe god feeds on pain and torment?
and why is everything transitory?
why consciousness? it's what makes me think there could be a god. it doesn't make sense for it to exist in a godless unconscious universe. it suggests being a miracle.
i won't exist after i die, but will my consciousness go on in some way?
if it exists god seems forlorn to me, or perhaps cruel. not the god i'd choose if i had a choice.
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