religious fanaticism

PBS documentary on DocWorld titled THE ACCUSED: DAMNED OR DEVOTED? about religious fanaticism in pakistan led by a cleric named rizvi, is truly frightening. They seek to have put to death anyone who criticizes their muslim faith, based on a blasphemy law. These fanatics remind me of the MAGA movement here in the USA led by trump, only much worse. Makes me wonder why can't that happen here, or anywhere? The answer is it can, and probably has, at one time or another.

do u believe in miracles?

 for many years i've disbelieved in free will. It was obvious that everything we did, everything we thought, everything that happened to us, was the result of our genes and our environment, going back to our conception, to our universe's conception. none of which we have ever had or ever will have control over. But lately, perhaps out of desperation ,i've been entertaining the idea of miracles, of events which are or seem to be beyond the bounds of nature, or supernatural.  a manifestation of god.

i'm much more into science than theology. i suppose in a way i'm no different from faith based religion in that i must take on faith many scientific claims, often because i'm not smart enough to understand their derivation, for example einstein's theories of relativity and of a space time vortex warped by gravity.

some scientific claims are pretty mind blowing, like the big bang theory of how our universe came to be. Before the big bang, there was no time and no space. Everything was compressed into nothing, so all that existed was nothing. Then suddenly there was something, the big bang, the beginning of time and space. It's all very counter intuitive, all very mysterious. Maybe it was a miracle. or maybe it was a black hole that became too massive.

anyway, i've also thought or felt for a long time that our world is fucked, and that if it exists god is responsible, (and must be a dickhead). There's no way to fix what needs to be fixed, especially in the very short time remaining before our species makes itself extinct by making earth uninhabitable for us.

i'm also plagued by loneliness and a great alienation from society and culture. and, apparently, inability to acquire very close friends, trusted colleagues, (surprised i spelled that word right), and compatible mate(s) / lover(s). It seems i'm a misfit everywhere, with whomever i'm with. It's been so pretty much my whole life. Will it ever change?

if a miracle happened once, perhaps there are more to come. I certainly hope so, for it seems that is what it will take to salvage our world, and my social life.

wouldn't it be nice?

 touching poetic lyrics of this beach boys classic highlight the frustrations of young lovers in a society / culture which suppresses teenagers freedom, especially their sexuality and their ability to openly have erotic relationships with all the benefits derived from fulfilling those passions. (we're only young once!)

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong?

You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through?

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Wouldn't it be nice?

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray
It might come true (run, run with you)
Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married (we could be married)
And then we'd be happy (and then we'd be happy)
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let's talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice?