leonard peltier is free! (sort of)

 there's very little justice in this oft cruel dystopia, so we must cherish that little bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBvNsS0CeBA

resigned?

just started smoking a new batch of cannabis from a new source. supposed to be good, 24% thc. so far i'm not pleased. i'm buzzed but not euphoric. not feeling happy and privileged to be alive. i'm disappointed.

it's possible that this is at least in part due to living in this dystopian and doomed world. particularly as of late i'm feeling about totally resigned to this being fate. this includes my shersonal experience, which has also been overall disappointing, and continues to be so. lack of friends, no potential lovers in sight. profoundly alienated from my species. i'm especially disappointed in god, if it exists. as carlin quipped, if this is the best the almighty can do, i am not impressed.

my alienation includes a fear factor, knowing the hostility that exists towards my vision of utopia, or at least the best world imaginable for flawed, limited, vulnerable mortals like us. it's a vision which collides head on with the vision of dogmatic erotophobes. it's a vision of a reasonable world without dogmas, or dogmatism.

it doesn't matter what i want or dream. 

this is a bad place mentally, but as krishnamurti said, 'it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society'.

it's hard being alone without hope. cannabis in the past has alleviated much of the pain and despair. if this new batch can't lift my spirit, i'm going to have to seek a batch that will do the trick. if i must be a flawed being in a dystopian world, i need something to make it bearable.

Iraq: the crime of the century, 20 years on

 max blumenthal tells it like it is in this video exposing the neocon political agenda and the complicity of lamestream media, 20 years after the trumped up invasion of iraq post 9-11.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2WCC9pkZzE

sick n evil: a different angle

 one particular issue perhaps estranges me from my fellow american radical progressives and perhaps from humanity in general more than any other. u see, apparently according to most if not a great great majority of them, i'm a disgusting or sick pedophile because i admittedly am very attracted to underage 'girls'.

i find it hard to believe that it's unusual or unnatural for heterosexual men to be very attracted to teenagers.

i suspect this particular aspect of sexuality is particularly demonized because it demonizes virtually everyone. it makes us hide our authentic selves and authentic desires. it makes us liars, hypocrites, neurotics, ashamed, fearful, confused, and thus effectively spiritually sabotaged.

i think this demonization is what's sick n evil and am so disheartened by it's apparent ubiquity across the whole political spectrum. it tells me i have no political home, no group that will have me. i've already found this to be the case with the green party, and they're about as radically far to the left as any american political party.

this is a no win situation. it makes me sick to not share it, to keep it bottled up out of fear, and it makes me sick to share it, and to fear the consequences of doing so. it's sickening to be so alienated and alone.

i wrote more extensively on this topic 5 years ago:

https://dystopiananddoomed.blogspot.com/2020/07/mary-kay-letourneau-age-of-consent.html