in science i trust

71 years ago ike decreed that the u.s. adopt the saying 'in god we trust' as a national motto. it now appears on u.s. money and in the 'pledge of allegiance'.

i don't trust in god. i don't believe in god. if there is a god, it doesn't strike me as trustworthy. it's a shady character. it doesn't want to be known or understood. and judging by this world it may have created, it strikes me as insane. not to mention cruel or at least utterly indifferent to suffering.

i believe in science. the answers it provides may not always be satisfying, but they're honest, evidence based, and logical, at least to the extent that logic can be applied to this manifestly illogical world.

i wish i had never been born. i was given no choice in the matter. now that i'm here, i've also been given no choice in the matter of my biological nature. i wish to survive and thrive.

but this world is not conducive to this desire. i will die, and until then, i will not thrive. i do not fit in with my fellow species. i'm not dogmatic and i'm not puritanical. i hate war and violence and i love sex. i wish to fit in but i can't. i feel as though i'm an alien in this world.

radical and impotent

 this is some of what i'd like to say to some sheeple:

i've been a fan of abby martin's for several years, going back to when she had a news program on RT about 10 years ago. that was before someone with power decided to ban certain 'propaganda' programs from america's internet.

in case u didn't know RT stood for 'russia today' it was sort of a russian version of american propaganda meant for an international audience like radio free europe. it's funded by the russian government, and it would give a voice to american radical journalists like martin that corporate american media denied, because american corporate media effectively censors anyone whose criticism of america is so fundamental as to fundamentally criticize american capitalism, militarism, and imperialism, among other things.

reader, are u aware that american corporate media is more propaganda than free, objective journalism? did u know that u can get more accurate and complete reporting on what's happening in the world and america's role in it by accessing sources like RT which the establishment has banned?

take for example the state of israel and america's unwavering and total military and diplomatic support of it since it's inception nearly 80 years ago. according to corporate media this has always been justified because israel is a beacon of enlightened democracy and a staunch ally in a region of the world which is largely undemocratic and anti-american. it's also portrayed as a haven of terrorists which have victimized israel and it's western allies, which is why israel needs a strong military and is justified whenever it's gone to war or attacked nearby countries.

hopefully u've noticed that during israel's current 'war' in gaza that corporate media has been going to great lengths to gaslight or deceive the public. they deny a genocide is taking place even though they're reporting daily that tens or scores or hundreds of palestinians trapped in gaza are being murdered by the israeli military (using western supplied munitions) and now they're starving to death because israel won't allow aid in. 'western' governments in general (especially america) deny a genocide is occuring and continue to support israel. western corporate media have no criticism of these governments.

if u've done much independent research or reading on the subject, u may also have become aware that this propaganda and gaslighting regarding israel and it's neighbors isn't just a recent phenomenon. it goes back at least to israel's 'war for independence' in 1948 in which israel violently killed and expelled hundreds of thousands of palestinians from what had been their own homeland for generations. many of the israelis then as now were relatively recent settlers coming primarily from europe and north america. so this was /is a settler colonialist project, much like when european colonists settled the americas by genociding the native peoples and taking their land.

u may also be aware that this isn't the only issue that our government and media have long been gaslighting us on. or u may not, which is partly my purpose in writing this.

the concept of being 'woke' in america has become a political bone of contention, and it hasn't even surreally dealt with what i'm dealing with here, which is the apparent fact that the american establishment has for decades if not centuries been engaged in systematically gaslighting the public and apparently doing so successfully, judging by the public's patriotic support of it.

2 weeks later: i don't know how to finish this properly, so i'm just publishing as is.

Israel Is a Death Cult, Politicians Are Cowards & the Media Is Rotten, w/ Abby Martin

alienation and isolation in bath, ny

It seems forever i've been very unhappy with my (lack of a) social life here in 'rural' amerikkka. this has been particularly true since my divorce nearly 40 years ago and subsequent immersion in hermetic autodidactic research into what exactly is going on in this surreal world, where power resides and to what purposes is it striving for.

this has all been compounded or a result of what i now view as a near life long neurotic pathological aversion to being social, to relating to people or just being around them. i can only speculate that this may be due to my upbringing in a family, community, and nation which isn't nurturing or conducive to authentic self expression and the development of intimacy, which is to say trusting, honest, open relationships.

for years i've idly daydreamed about escaping this kafkaesque life by moving to another place that would be more conducive to the life i seek. of course this would entail a major life upheaval and considerable initial expense, but probably the biggest reason i haven't done so has to do with what i expressed in the paragraph immediately above: my deeply ingrained aversion to social contact. or, iow that this problem may have more to do with my inner 'demons' than outer social environment...

if this be the case, can these 'demons' be conquered? i deeply doubt it, without the help of psychedelic therapy, which thanks to the dystopian 'war on drugs' is only accessible in a few faraway places, again entailing some considerable expense and effort on my part to access... i've yet to do so because of this, and because of fear that even this hope may turn out to be illusory.

so for now, as always before, i'm stuck in a rut (of my own making?) of profound dissatisfaction with my life and world. there are a few hopeful leads i'm pondering over, such as attempting to contact and meet with richard dolan, a noted expert in the field of ufology who has manifested a deep interest and knowledge of 'conspiracy theories' like those of the JFK assassination and 9/11 similar to my own.

u see, while i have quite a few friendly acquaintances here in maga america, i have no true friends, by which i mean nobody with whom i can share my deepest, most authentic thoughts and desires. this is very frustrating. at least with richard dolan i might be able to experience fellowship based on our mutual interest in the 'invisible government' and what or who exactly is behind it. facilitating this desire to contact him is the fact that he apparently resides in nearby rochester ny. after finishing this post, i just may try to contact him again (have already done so, unsuccessfully).

i would especially appreciate his take on the views and assertions expressed in this lengthy youtube video which deals primarily with the historical development of highly concentrated, ruthless, and deceitful wealth and power in the western world, and on the many fascinating details surrounding the mysterious assassination of JFK. of particular note here is the claim that the associated murder of dallas police officer j.d. tippet was part of this intricate plot, in that tippet bore a striking resemblance to JFK and that his body was surreptitiously exchanged with that of kennedy as part of the effort to fudge the results of his autopsy as part of the effort to fool the public with the conclusions reached by the discredited official investigation into that seminal event of american history, the warren report.

 JFK to 9/11: Everything is a Rich Man's Trick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEqzr8f3JKg

TRUMP ELIMINATES OPPOSITION IN HIS EFFORT TO BECOME DICTATOR

on tuesday of this past week, instead of the cbs late show featuring stephen colbert, coming on at 11:35, nothing was aired. blank screen. no explanation given. no alternative programming in it's place. what was up?

on thursday at the beginning of the show host colbert announced that the upcoming season of the show ending next spring would be it's last. the show was being cancelled. again no explanation offered. as far as i know, it's not because of low ratings. colbert is a facorite darling comic of liberal america. his specialty has long been mocking 'conservatives'. 

he first rose to prominence as part of the cast on jon stewart's daily show on the comedy channel. then he was given his own 1/2 hour slot on the channel following the daily show, which was a great success leading to his recruitment by cbs to take over the coveted position of hosting's it's own late night show.

his time at cbs has roughly coincided with the successful political career of trump. now i didn't watch him much in his early years at cbs because frankly there at the pinnacle of american corporate media there is more censorship of comic material and as a result it's considerably less biting and generally less clever or lamer. but lacking better alternatives i've taken to once again often tuning him in to get a few good belly laughs in before settling in for the night. so i can attest that his recent material has savagely mocked prominent republican officials with trump easily being his #1 target. his impressions of trump's vacuous ignorant deceitful pompous pronouncements are just killer. he pulls no punches in attempting to eviscerate trump's character.

it's been recently reported that rather than fight a frivolous law suit by trump, cbs caved in to him because if they didn't he had the power to stop a big business deal they wanted to make. (details about this in the common dreams article linked below) that being the case, i've made the obvious inference that trump, notoriously thin skinned and intolerant of being publicly ridiculed (a prominent example of this is his decades old feud with rosie o'donnell), has managed to force cbs to drop the late show with stephen colbert.

https://www.commondreams.org/news/cbs-late-night

i've begun re-reading david cay johnston's devastating biography of trump (The Making of Donald Trump) that focuses on his business dealings culminating with his 2016 presidential campaign. as johnston immodestly but factually asserts early in this book, he's one hell of an excellent investigative journalist and writer who previously focused on the way that the super wealthy influence governmental policies which facilitate their further enrichment at our (public) expense, in books like FREE LUNCH and PERFECTLY LEGAL.

The Making of Donald Trump exposes trump as a ruthless, and i mean a very very ruthless criminal conman. he's obviously not the brightest pebble on the beach, but he has an uncanny knack for self promotion, evading accountability, and as his astonishing political rise and resiliency show, an ability to consistently fool the foolish and thus attract a very sizable, demonstrative, and loyal following.

what's also become clear is that trump's desire for wealth and ambition for power is virtually limitless. in this regard he seems to be very like the criminal invisible government which pulls the strings of the official government, and it's partner in crime, the corporate lamestream media. perhaps having this in common is a perfect recipe for fascism.

in this very entertaining and informative youtube video johnston gives a synopsis of his book, and also points out that a crucial element in trump's 'successful' business and political career has been the utter vapidness and incompetence (with rare exceptions) of the lamestream media, which is well known for it's fondness of sensationalism, something trump excels at providing them: (skip the 2nd half q and a)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19KI_2X2Sfs

french-israeli-jfk relations: something rotten in denmark!

 i've been watching a lot of katie halper youtube videos lately and been very impressed with her and them. in the link below, the role of israel in the middle east as a sort of hired thug acting on behalf of 'western' imperialist powers is very succinctly elaborated. also, the featured speaker in this clip, ken mccarthy, briefly discusses how the jfk administration sought to rein in zionism, which probably was another reason the criminal establishment (invisible government) had the brothers killed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxRihR3zxxI

https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Battle-Against-Zionist-Extremism-ebook/dp/B0DBRW6PHS/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3OTR3PN65YBT6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wI8RYdg6g3ykOUEQGy7Fqr2RLZQEOZk2-Gt29_xOoXE.v8VjG2HjmhnFfsIHkEl0N_56RXziTcdnvRPttZNrJMM&dib_tag=se&keywords=jfk+and+rfk%27s+secret+battle+against+zionist+extremism&qid=1752812097&sprefix=jfk+and+rfk%27s%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-1

MAGA cruelty explored and explained?

here are 2 videos put out by some obviously intelligent sheeple seeking to better understand and perceive the disaster that has befallen america under donald trump and his unmerry band of nutty supporters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T8jF8BEeCM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cq0PHxTZtw

chutzpah

below is a comment i left to a recent common dreams article regarding an israeli war crime whose victim was a dual citizen of america and palestine:

 'If President Trump will not even put America first when Israel murders American citizens, then this is truly an Israel First administration." -from the article

when, if ever, has the american government stood up to israel? this is nothing new. perhaps most outrageously there was the time in 1967 when israeli armed forces attacked and tried to sink an american spy ship in the mediterranean. it’s been speculated that had they been successful, the attack would have been blamed on egypt (a false flag) to provide an impetus to drag america into that israeli war of aggression (the ‘6 day war’) anyhow, the ship was very nearly sunk, over 30 killed, over 170 wounded. the lame and obviously false explanation for the attack (the official narrative) was that it was all a big mistake, and no one was held accountable.

chutpah is a hebrew word, isn’t it? it’s quite apt in relation to israel and zionism. it means ‘extreme self-confidence or audacity’. they’ve always gotten away with bloody murder, war crimes, colonialist abuse of the indigenous population, so why shouldn’t they keep doing so?

the surreal mystery is what gives them such power? how do they get away with such audacious criminality with absolute impunity? what hold do they have over the ‘western’ alliance led by america such that they’re effectively the tail that wags that great big dog? is it just that they have the most money? in a world of perfidy and corruption, are they it’s top dogs, admired and feared by the rest? i’d love to know the answer. i may never know it, but i have hope that some day, the sooner the better, whatever that power is, it will dissipate, and zionism will die in utter disgrace, and that there will finally be some reckoning and justice, some truth and reconciliation.

https://www.commondreams.org/news/settler-violence-west-bank

winners and losers / no easy way out

Arguably the most dystopian aspect of life in modern America is the extremely low regard for scientific facts and opinions held by a great many people including the current ruling political party and it's supporters. Including many of the most 'successful' (wealthy) among us like the current president and his former fan boy and benefactor Elon Musk.

Have u seen Musk in a t shirt with the message 'occupy Mars'? Apparently the purportedly world's richest man thinks colonizing an alien planet whose environment is wholly unconducive to Earth life is no big challenge, which is indicative of his extreme ignorance and hubris.

It's not just Trump and Musk. Apparently a lot of billionaires and the like hold similar views, as do their megamillions of supporters. Oblivious to our existential crisis. Oblivious to a lot of things, and believing a lot of nonsense, like faith based religious claims which are patently absurd. Embracing an irrational world view.

It's too late now, but if there's one fundamental change that theoretically could stop us from destroying ourselves, it would be making sheeple be rational, so as to appreciate science and replace ignorance with knowledge.

Where r magic wands when they're needed?

A good place to start performing this miracle is by attacking religious dogmatism. That would be very upsetting to the lives of a great many sheeple and to the whole society/culture. Not to mention for the fool(s) who would try to lead such an intellectual revolution.

Nobody (virtually) wants to upset the status quo which has made our species so privileged, such wealthy 'winners'. Especially those who have become the biggest 'winners', the mega wealthy. For if scientific facts and opinions begin to receive due respect, everything will radically change, especially for clueless billionaires.

But unless or until such a change is made, we 'winners' will all ultimately be losers, if and when our species goes extinct. As someone who clearly sees this coming and is doing virtually nothing to avert it, arguably I'm worse than the likes of Elon Musk, or no better.

I wish I didn't have to point these things out: if climate disruption makes our planet Earth inhospitable to life as we know it, as scientists have been trying to warn us, we can't all just pick up our lives and colonize Mars or some other planet. Being wildly 'successful' like Elon Musk and Donald Trump doesn't make one wise or intelligent; clearly these men aren't.

Believing in ancient 'holy' books and embracing the dogmatic worldviews they espouse, as seems to be the common denominator among all of the world's most ignorant sheeple and powerful political parties, is a recipe for disaster, for our near term extinction. As is the forlorn hope that an omnipotent benevolent God exists who can and will save us from our own folly if we all pray hard enough for His intervention. There is no easy way out of this predicament for me or u or anyone.

jane fonda commencement speech

 caught the last few minutes of this on c-span. i thought it was quite good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPYKI67KOy8

zionists crying wolf(!)

a couple of days ago u.s. president trump ordered planes to bomb nuclear facilities in iran. this followed an unprovoked attack from israel using american supplied weapons on iran. as usual, the justification for such 'pre-emptive' attacks is to prevent a 'terrorist' nation from acquiring nuclear weapons. however, much like the case with the iraq invasion in 2003, this 'threat' is wholly contrived and used to conceal the surreal reason why the zionist alliance of israel and the u.s. are constantly threatening to go to war in western asia when they aren't in fact doing so: to eliminate any and all opposition in the region to their hegemony.

this recently published article from jeff sachs exposes this pattern going back for decades. below is an excerpt followed by the link to the whole article:

Since 1992, Netanyahu and his supporters have claimed that Iran will become a nuclear power “in a few years." In 1995, Israeli officials and their US backers declared a 5-year timeline. In 2003, Israel’s Director of Military Intelligence said that Iran will be a nuclear power “by the summer of 2004.” In 2005, the head of Mossad said that Iran could build the bomb in less than 3 years. In 2012, Netanyahu claimed at the United Nations that “it’s only a few months, possibly a few weeks before they get enough enriched uranium for the first bomb.” And on and on.

This 30-year-plus pattern of shifting deadlines has marked a deliberate strategy, not a failure in prophecy. The claims are propaganda; there is always an “existential threat.” More importantly, there is Netanyahu’s phony claim that negotiations with Iran are useless.

https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/netanyahu-war-on-iran

doom is still in the cards

Since starting this blog the vast majority of my posts have been about some aspect of dystopia, the horribleness of our culture and especially of government and rulers or 'authorities'. Of course, the prospect of a great mass extinction of species and near term human extinction is arguably of much greater importance. Because our culture is so myopic, long term prospects get short shrift, if attended to at all. I myself only think of doom infrequently and fleetingly, but never forget that just because it's out of mind doesn't mean it's out of the picture. Understanding and come to grips with the many ways in which civilization is unsustainable, i've known for a long time that it's days are numbered and almost certainly far fewer than most sheeple, even those few with a rudimentary understanding themselves of it's unsustainability, might suppose.

most sheeple have no idea how imminent and fated the collapse is. but there were a few over a decade ago who followed and participated in a blog titled NATURE BATS LAST that were well aware of it and thought it important enough to ponder and discuss at length. Below is an essay from that time / blog  by a writer whose view of the fundamental problem and potential solution, horrific as it is / was, is shared by me. Here's a snippet from it, followed by the link to it:

The vast majority of civilized humans believe civilization to be a good thing, and see it as something to be protected, nurtured, and preserved. I strongly disagree with this point of view. To me, that is like saying you want to save the patient and the cancer, too.

https://guymcpherson.com/on-the-acceptance-of-near-term-extinction/

psychedelic therapy / the war on consciousness

 i so want to experience a psychedelic trip in a therapeutic setting. i believe it would make me much happier and more likable. less depressed by dystopia and doom.

just read a lengthy article that was published by the new yorker magazine over 10 years ago, authored by michael pollan, who has also written a couple of books about psychedelics. article titled THE TRIP TREATMENT, specifically dealing with psychedelic use to treat anxiety about dying in the terminally ill. then watched a short video in which one of these psychedelic patients talks about his experience, which is the first link below:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/video-magic-mushrooms-healing-trip

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/09/trip-treatment

of course, psychedelics have long been prohibited by the dogmatic puritanical hypocritical and corrupt government that rules over me and my fellow americans. of course, many other governments are similarly oppressive. in the link below, a 'banned tedtalk', graham hancock decries this prohibition / oppression. it's aptly titled 'the war on consciousness':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0c5nIvJH7w

standing up to fascism

Masked Agents Snatch NYC Mayoral Candidate In Chilling Video

as shown in this video, at least a few rather prominent americans are trying to stand up to the authoritarian thugs who work as immigration law enforcement officers in this time of fascism under a president who openly aspires to be a dictator and who, like others like him in the past, demonizes some particular minority group and persecutes them. will their courageous resistance be enough to stop or deter such madness? i doubt it, but am glad they're trying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WsvzqpsJpM

pride videos

 below is a copy of a post from last year. i decided it's a good idea to repost it every june,

in honor of pride month here's a couple of great videos. the first is an eloquent TED talk, a short fact based case that homosexuality makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, by a proud father of a gay son. the 2nd is an old tv movie, Doing Time On Maple Drive about a family with communication issues with conservative religious parents, a gay son, a plot with very dramatic twists and turns, and the family's struggle to come to terms with the truth of their lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Khn_z9FPmU

https://vimeo.com/242773246

one nation under fear

 i find it a little fascinating that in the biblical creation story our species original sin was eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. assuming this is metaphor, it's meaning is still mysterious.

for one, what is good and what is evil? and why is knowledge of it forbidden us? isn't such knowledge of the most vital importance? isn't our whole punitive criminal (in)justice system predicated on the assumption that sane people know the difference between right and wrong?

as anyone remotely knowledgeable of christianity should know, 'the wages of sin is death'. this proclaimed by 'our lord and savior' jesus christ in the new testament, it's consistent with old testament god's admonition to adam and eve, that if they ate forbidden fruit they would surely die.

so, what's the surreal deal here, christians? are we supposed to have knowledge of good and evil, to know what's right and what's wrong, or should we leave such matters up to god?

i doubt anyone has a satisfactory answer.

returning to the question of morality or the discernment of sin and virtue, again, by what or whose definition? and aren't many such questions fraught with complexity and ambiguity, in the surreal world?

some think that morality is best left to be defined by 'authorities'. of course the ultimate 'authority' lies with the highest levels of government, those who make laws, interpret, and execute them. and it is painfully obvious that these 'authorities', at least in the usa, are a bunch of idiots and assholes!

now i'll get to the title topic of this post. fear has long dominated my life. especially fear of failure and of rejection. and as i've gotten more experienced and better informed, fear/conviction that this is a hopelessly dystopian world  

but the fear that i and others like me now confront with a fascist would be dictator with many fascist brutal ruthless supporters running things in the usa, is a much more visceral fear. the fear of running afoul of these evil sick bastards. the fear of being punished for trying to stand up against them. it's a very well founded fear, considering what has been and is being done to others who have tried and are trying, like in the case of a young man, a foreign student at nearby cornell university, who, after speaking out against the horrid genocide being committed against palestinians by the horrid state of israel with the full horrid support of the usa and most of it's 'western' allies,.... found himself facing persecution and likely imprisonment and deportation, if he didn't first decide to self deport himself, which he did... link below to an excellent youtube video put out by the socialist equality party, detailing not only this case but the horrid history of american suppression of human rights, in striking contrast to the hypocritical lies and propaganda put out by the american establishment about how virtuous it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XjO7RRKQPI

"My country is killing me"

 26 years ago i lived in san diego where i met steve mcwilliams, a medical marijuana user and activist. California had recently legalized medical marijuana, but it was still criminalized for recreational use in the state and criminalized under federal law (as it still is), so it's legality was somewhat contested. I myself at that time used it to treat depression and insomnia (as i still do). This was without a prescription or medical authorization. I had simply discovered on my own that it's use was beneficial, therapeutic, so i used it illegally. This was an easy choice. It was obvious that the law was stupid and / or unjust. By this time i was 40 years old and had learned that many laws were stupid and or unjust, as was the whole political and legal establishment in america, if not the world.

anyhow, that's how i came to meet steve. I was interested in finding a doctor who would authorize me as a bonafide medical marijuana patient. In addition to advising me in this matter with a reference, steve and i talked more broadly about our worldviews, which were fairly compatible. We were both anarchists vehemently opposed to state power over our bodies and intimate personal choices. Steve had even written a pamphlet outlining his views that called for revolution, if i recall correctly. I wish i had saved the copy of it he gave me. I wish i had spent more time with him, gotten to know him better, developed more of a relationship. But i didn't. I didn't remain in san diego very long either. After i left i didn't forget him and was saddened to learn some time later that he had killed himself, largely because the government he had so opposed had persecuted and prosecuted him for being an outspoken activist.

my most memorable time spent with him was at the gay pride parade that year (1999) in san diego. It was quite an affair, a fairly big parade to a fairly big and enthusiastic audience. We were in the parade as part of a small medical marijuana contingent. Steve's usage was for chronic pain and to treat it he smoked a lot more than i, who could get by well on just a 'hit' (single inhalation) or 2 a day. So i didn't smoke at all during the parade, while steve would stop briefly about every 10 minutes to light up / take a hit. I had never seen anyone do this so publicly without fear of being busted (arrested), and i thought it was pretty cool.

i wish i'd spent more time with him because maybe i'd have become more like him, someone with more courage and resolve, more likable and relatable and relevant to the world. Otoh, maybe i'd have also met a similar fate as steve and some other more prominent critics / victims of the establishment, like peter mcwilliams (no relation to steve), author of a popular and very well written book that was also very critical of excessive governmental interference / control over our private lives, titled AIN'T NOBODY'S BUSINESS IF YOU DO. Peter didn't commit suicide; his government killed him by persecuting / prosecuting and jailing him while also denying him access to medical marijuana.

there has been plenty written about both of these men and their tragic deaths. to find out more all u need to do is google them. Here is a link to an article about the persecution (but not the death by suicide) of steve mcwilliams:

https://marijuananews.com/articles/federal-prosecution-of-activist-steve-mcwilliams-for-just-25-plants-relevant-to-american-refugees-in-canada-being-outspoken-is-the-real-crime-being-deprived-of-medication-is-the-real-punishment/legacy

and taken from that article, another link to a much less prominent  (and thus more representative) medical marijuana user and his own troubles relating to wanting to use a natural drug or medicinal plant which our incredibly callous, cruel, and corrupt government (acting partly on behalf of a greedy pharmaceutical industry which sought / seeks to eliminate competition against it's own very expensive patented and often less effective artificial medications) has saw fit to make war on (which in effect is of course a war on all who use it). This article ends with the statement which is the title of this missive: "My country is killing me"

https://marijuananews.com/articles/a-medical-marijuana-user-says-that-marinol-rescheduling-is-worthless-for-him-he-simply-cannot-afford-it-my-country-is-killing-me

i just composed this because this is pride month, and being so made me think of that parade i marched in with steve 26 years ago. I think victims of the war on drugs have much in common with those who suffer from the persecution of the LGBTQ (and some more letters) community. In fact, all civilized sheeple / people are victims to some extent by having to live under arbitrary repressive ignorant and bigoted authoritarian attitudes, laws, and regimes the world over; products of dogmatic puritanical cultures designed to facilitate the oppression and impoverishment of the masses and the enrichment / empowerment of the elites who rule over us.

this is the best article i've read about the very determined, courageous life and death of a largely unknown american martyr, steve mcwilliams. No doubt there are others like him we aren't aware of:

https://www.420magazine.com/community/threads/steve-mcwilliams-medical-marijuana-activist-fallen-warrior.85905/

___________________________________________________________

epilogue (or should this be a prologue?) to this post: the first time i slept after posting the above, i had the following dream:

i'm at home, with the company of a few select guests, fellow potential activists i hope to educate. My guests are outside my home, while i'm inside. I look out a window and see an enormous tornado, sky to ground, very nearby on the opposite side of the house from where my guests are. I rush out to warn them but am so frightened i have great difficulty getting out the words (or maybe the difficulty is from being asleep dreaming): "Tornado!!! Get inside, take cover now!" They rush to follow me indoors, while i think of the best place to take shelter in my small home without a cellar. I decide it's in the bath tub. I look out the same window where i'd seen the tornado and now it appears to be right by it, a dark cloud of wind whipping madly by from one side to another, and am terrified as i take shelter among my guests, 1/2 expecting to die momentarily. But we don't die, as the danger just misses and spares us. Could this be a clear warning or admonition from a god whose existence i'm firmly agnostic about? I and my guests are enormously relieved to have been spared. Perhaps they, like me, are taking this harrowing brush with death as an omen to be extra careful about how we should proceed as activists seeking to radically change our world.

christianity / worthy of consideration

 christianity is a crock of creature crotch!

president trump might be the worst american who has ever lived. that's saying a lot, considering there's been serial killers, mass shooters, robber barons, and war criminals galore. at the very least, he's worthy of consideration for this infamous title. he's such a stupid, cruel, narcissistic prick!

the nation he leads, replete with tens of millions of his ardent supporters, might be the worst nation in the history of this sordid world. that too is saying a lot. at the very least, it's worthy of consideration!

the bible just might be the most ridiculous and repugnant 'holy book' ever created. it's worthy of consideration!

in consideration of pride month, this fine documentary about the fight for gay marriage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFNSo353XdE

a truly sick and depraved society!?

 this (video link below) is a very provocative pov one never sees in lamestream western media, which is zealously zionist. the description and depiction of common israelis is truly shocking. is it accurate? poll statistics, a well documented genocide with daily war crimes by israel, along with video examples of israelis talking and acting like sick nazis does make a pretty strong case against them in my view.

from c. j. werleman's youtube channel, about 2:20 into it he quotes a former israeli president as saying that israel is a truly sick and depraved society, about as strongly condemning as a statement can be. i can't help but think that the same can be said about israel's most staunch supporter, the hyper militarized and imperialistic usa, which is somewhat like israel in it's 'conservative' authoritarian religiosity and racism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGL8ZCd9Tao

welcome to (some of) my world(view)

some videos i've watched very recently:

israel is starving gaza as part of it's genocide (with full usa support):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYbzLlvHs_M

in the usa, brutal suppression of opposition to the zionist genocide:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv0dS04Zsfc

massive u.s. propaganda web exposed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N2_p6UeVik

the very well informed and forcefully articulate founder of architects and engineers for 9/11 truth, richard gage, as he appeared on cspan 11 years ago (another video of him on youtube giving a public speech on this subject, which i posted a link to in another post on this blog years ago has since been censored):

https://www.c-span.org/program/washington-journal/architects-and-engineers-for-9-11-truth/357475

too bad i live in a society in which nobody seems to want to know or care about these things.

blind american eyes

below this is a paraphrase of a lyric sung by a 14 year old palestinian boy trapped in the nightmare that is gaza who was killed this week by an american bomb dropped from an israeli war plane. while our lives as americans go on more or less unaware and uncaring, the genocide continues. it has become so routine it is now reported on by western media as an afterthought, if at all, and of course never called for what it is.

"whoever can't see gaza dying has blind american eyes"

https://x.com/translatingpal/status/1919768116097126840

https://www.commondreams.org/news/hassan-ayyad

the last paragraph from this common dreams article:

'A 2024 survey of more than 500 Gazan children conducted by the Gaza-based Community Training Center for Crisis Management and supported by the War Child Alliance found that nearly all children in the embattled Palestinian enclave believed their death was imminent—and nearly half said they wanted to die.'

intellectual failure

Perhaps the most succinct definition of intelligence i've ever come across was 'the ability to acquire and apply knowledge'.  However, this definition might be vastly improved with a simple addition: 'the ability to acquire, prioritize, and apply knowledge'. Without prioritization, knowledge acquisition and application may be worse than worthless. (as is seen in so much of our ecocidal technology and culture)

i've taken a couple of IQ tests in the past and scored 134 and 137 on them as i recall, which places me around the bottom of the top 1% of such intelligence measurements. yet somehow i've now known for a long time about the ecological and environmental catastrophes we face, while most of the 'geniuses', some of whose measured intelligence blows mine away, remain unaware and unconcerned. how can this be? it can only be because their enormous measured intelligence isn't worth much in terms of promoting our planet's ecological health and our species long term survivability. their capacity for acquiring and applying knowledge is gigantic, but their ability to prioritize such knowledge is pathetic!

rough day today. was around another supposedly sane and intelligent adult near my age who spouts nonsense almost non stop. in my experience this describes many if not most people, and it isn't recognized as such except by a very few, far less than 1%. The very few who perceive the extent of dystopia and the inescapability of doom. As one, i feel totally isolated and alienated, frightened and anxious, alone and vulnerable. If this isn't a psychological hell, it's a good replica.

disruption

i've perceived for a long time that the radical change which is so urgently needed would be radically disruptive of individual lives, families, communities, and civilization(s), but only recently am i surreally doing so regarding myself. i'm becoming more aware of how deceitful and inhibited i must be in public so as to be agreeable and not alienate practically everyone. i must hide my utter disdain for 'faith' (dogmatic religion), patriotism, and the ridiculous bullshit that's passed as 'news' by the orwellian corporate media. i must hide my utter disdain towards almost everyone, those who have not yet figured out, do not yet perceive that tptb use lies and propaganda to control them and society as a whole. i must hide other things as well. if i didn't, if i don't, i quite likely would be literally run out of town if not killed for having such audacious and heretical views.

so, i fear the price i'll pay if i ever do follow gandhi's advice to 'be the change i want to see in the world'. i will radically disrupt my own life, and in doing so, there will be no turning back. no putting the genie back of the bottle.

what a strange nightmarish situation. the world is going to hell in a handbasket and what needs to be done to save it not only can't be done (successfully), but will also result in death or destruction to the ones courageous or foolish enough to try.

p.s. here's one of my better past blogposts:

https://dystopiananddoomed.blogspot.com/2021/10/orwellian-control-of-media.html

copaganda

 excellent discussion about police p.r. or propaganda and how so called liberal media and institutions are complicit in promoting it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK1xrY8v5oI

pascal was a fool

 i very poignantly recall being taught as a young naive impressionable child that if i didn't believe in christ as my savior i faced an eternal afterlife in hell. in addition, i was given the definite impression that it was necessary to sacrifice or subdue 'the flesh' (basically, my sexuality) in order to be a good christian and go to heaven.

later i learned that a philosopher had more or less articulated this same sentiment in what came to be known as 'pascal's wager', which posits that it makes a lot of sense to believe in (the christian) god:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal%27s_wager

by this time i had matured and developed enough critical thinking and knowledge to reject christian indoctrination, and thus i turned pascal's wager on it's head with this thought:

it makes a great deal of sense not to believe in (the christian) god because such believe requires one to sacrifice living a full life (and one only has one life to live) and the existence of such a god rests entirely on claims which aren't backed up by any credible evidence or logic whatsoever. thus, one has nothing to gain by being a believer, and much to lose!

scathing

 this might also be titled george carlin politicians, for it's link to a youtube video of that title. as is my way, i like to refer readers to views other(s) have articulated as well or better than i could in which i'm in near complete agreement. carlin in his comedy expressed a scathing indictment of our species, our ignorance, bigotry, irrationality, brutality, hypocrisy, deceit, and delusion in many areas including politics:

George Carlin Politicians

more scathing carlin, this time taking 'conservatives' to task:

George Carlin: pro-life, abortation & the sanctity of life...

a more serious carlin displaying intellect, wisdom, and gratitude in an interview with jon stewart:

Jon Stewart Interviews George Carlin | George Carlin | 40 Years of Comedy (1997)

to no one for nothing!??

 the title of this means this writing may be to no one (unread) for nothing (what's the point of doing it if no one else ever reads it?).

i'm deeply closeted in my worldview and it's basis. i've tried my best to share it with a few select small groups (a pair of local progessive groups with a few dozen email contacts) and individuals, by among other things providing them with a link to this blog with an invitation to check it out and provide feedback regarding their thoughts on doing so. and i've tried to do so with some sheeple i've been close to, like family. in no instance that i'm aware of has anyone taken me up on this offer. no one has encouraged or praised me (except for a few from a doomer blog i used to be involved with, whose relatively few participants were scattered all over the english speaking world, so none that were near me).

i do not feel free to share my views on important matters / issues because they're so very out of sync with my fellow americans across just about the whole political spectrum. 

there was a national protest this weekend against the horrible policies of wannabe dictator trump, which included several hundred locals. i'm quite friendly with one of them; i walk her dog regularly as she can't. we talk politics a bit. we're in agreement in hating trump, but beyond that, i have to keep my mouth shut around her, because she's a very moderate democrat who thinks genocide joe biden (she would never call him that) was an 'excellent president'. she likes to listen to very lamestream news sources like cnn because she thinks it's quite fair and balanced. and of course she's a christian, a catholic of all things, so she's about as far from being a radical as one can get. i could have gone with her to be a part of the anti-trump protest but i don't like being overtly aligned with sheeple whose views i find ridiculous if not repulsive.

the political views of americans in general are ridiculous and repulsive. how can one say this publicly, especially in an area like mine with lots of 'conservatives' of the ilk that think: 'america: love it or leave it!'?

i feel so frustrated, isolated. like i was born into this nightmarish dystopia which i should resist but feel i can't, think it would be foolish, the situation is hopeless, the ignorance and stupidity of the public, in conjunction with how evil, mendacious, and ruthless tptb are (who are largely responsible for misleading the sheeplike public who can't think for themselves) makes it so. i feel isolated in feeling so hopeless. i think i'm virtually alone in my area in my dystopian and doomed worldview, in my utter hatred and contempt for this dystopia i'm enmeshed in. i think about leaving the usa in hope of living in a saner, less dystopian place, but i fear such a place may not exist. or at the very least, that while some other places might be better, they can't be all that much better, given our common humanity and foibles.

MY OWN LITTLE PROTEST: today on a whim (i'd often considered doing so) i visited a cousin who i used to be close to, an older cousin who was very good to me when i was a child. after my own political and philosophical maturation, and after living away from family for a few years, on my return i now saw them in an entirely new and unflattering light. this particular cousin was or had become a right wing christian who's now a very 'conservative' 'pro-life' trump supporter. i visited him to give him 'a piece of my mind'. it didn't take long, as i knew it wouldn't, since we see eye to eye on nothing.

too much trivia?!

 i have a potentially useful bit to share. it's taken almost 6 decades for me to learn that it's a lot easier (also painless) clipping toenails than it is cutting them. i imagine mine are normal in that they've thickened with age, making them very resistant to cutting with scissors (and a bit painful sometimes), last time i cut them i used toenail clippers instead, which made the job a relative breeze.

funny isn't it that such simple basic useful (if trivial) knowledge could have evaded me, a relatively intelligent and curious soul, for so long. i figure if it evaded me, maybe it has u too.. i've lived alone a great majority of my adult life. spent most of my time alone. such social isolation probably precludes learning much similar useful trivia. a topic little thought of or discussed is how different modern social life is from our prehistoric ancestors whose very survival depended upon being part of very inter-dependent, communicative, and cooperative small groups. this radical change in social life no doubt has much to do with the prevalence of mental illness, depression, and loneliness modern civilized humans experience. i'm fortunate in having been able to adapt well to my isolation. i tend to prefer it now, particularly as i've learned more and my opinion of humanity has taken a dive.

this part may be too much trivia. curious to learn how often i cut my fingernails, i marked my calendar last time i cut them, 23 days ago. just noticed today they're getting long enough to trim. so i guess i do so about every 4 weeks. estimated growth these 23 days: about 2 mm, or 1/12 of an inch! 

russian disinformation?

great analysis from breakthrough news of how u.s. corporate media serves as pro establishment propaganda and seeks to discredit dissident anti imperialist voices with the charge that they're spreading disinformation. this video is 78 minutes long. liberals especially who still trust 'liberal' lamestream media like the ny times (war crimes!) could learn something from it, if only they could admit that their present worldview is wrong. i think they're rather like religious conservatives in being resistant to having long cherished views shown to be wrong. plus, if they did so they risk becoming alienated from their liberal friends and having to make new friends as outcasts, social outcasts. perhaps if one is not used to such a role, it could be too difficult to try coming into it relatively late in life. i've felt like an outcast for so long that i'm used to it, it's no big deal.

 War on ‘Russian Disinformation’ is the New ‘War on Terror’ and Equally Fake w/ Ben Norton

Why U.S. Elites Support Israel No Matter What

the first link below describes in just one minute the purpose of breakthrough news. the second link is to a very concise information laden video of their's which purports to answer the question posed in the title of this post. the answer being that israel serves as a powerful outpost for or proxy of american imperialism in a very strategic energy rich part of the world. i think there's a lot of truth to this conclusion but i don't think it's the whole truth. the fact that israel can militarily attack the u.s. and get away with it as it did in the attack on the USS LIBERTY in 1967 suggests that tptb in the u.s. are hardcore zionist. why this is so i don't know. and to speculate is to invite an accusation of being antisemitic and a 'conspiracy theorist'. anyway it's very good and only 6 minutes long.

What is Breakthrough News?

Here’s Why U.S. Elites Support Israel No Matter What

trump's dystopian dictatorship

 

we're well on our way to what may become the most dystopian dictatorship under trump-musk and the rest of the bigoted bullies who support and provide the 'muscle', the violence, intimidation, the 'authority' that 'legitimizes' his rule... in world history, which is saying a lot, to say the least, considering the sordid record of dystopian dictatorships this world has known. they are very boldly and effectively usurping such power with very little resistance from the other branches of government or from civil society. this isn't coming out of the blue; it's been developing for decades, the groundwork, the empowerment of authoritarian forces and the disempowerment of the rest of us, probably ever since the backlash to the 60s took hold going back to that time of COINTELPRO and the initial ramping up of the war on drugs under richard 'law and order' nixon and his conservative republican party, soon to fall under the spell of christian conservatives, at the same time the democrats were also becoming more conservative and abandoning much of it's progressive agenda. good article detailing some of this slide into this abyss, i came across thanks to a commenter on the website 'common dreams' , who frequently recommends reading articles from the world socialist web site (wsws.org):

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2025/03/20/lhzt-m20.html

another great article from the same author detailing the horrors of the atomic bombing of japanese cities at the end of ww2, why it wasn't necessary, and how the american establishment has been deceiving the american sheeple about it ever since:

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2016/05/27/hiro-m27.html

excerpt from this article:

"There is a certain naïveté on the part of the American people with regard to the utter ruthlessness of the American ruling class, particularly in relation to the Second World War. That war has long been presented by the American media and political establishment as a great war for democracy, against fascism and tyranny. In fact, the principal reason that the United States entered the war—and the underlying motivation behind all its actions in prosecuting the war—was to establish itself as the dominant and unchallenged world power. In pursuit of this aim the lives of hundreds of thousands of Japanese were of little consequence."

how am i?

'how are you doing?' a question i'm commonly asked by acquaintances greeting me. it often annoys me because the easy and expected answer is a lie. i'm not doing well. how can one be well in a sick society of ignoramuses sleepwalking their way to extinction? of obstinate irrationality and political dystopia? oligarchical greed and ruthless ambition,  numbing inequality and injustice, corruption and abuse of power, cruelty and indifference to the suffering of others? a world in which one must become numb to such suffering, since it's always in the news. wars, famines, refugees, ecological collapse.

one must be an ignoramus or a lunatic to not know or care about such things. i'm a part of this world. if it's fucked up, i'm fucked up (my shersonal life is deeply fucked up as well but that's another story). so i'm not doing well.

i'm most disturbed by the growing perception / conviction that my species is very stupidcrazy, something not taught in schools because the teachers are part of the problem. and that i'm virtually alone in this awareness, so i have no one to share it with. thus this lonely unread blog. the thought that eventually i will attract readers is weakening if not dying.

irrational to ludicrous optimism by supposedly rational and well informed sheeple deeply disturbs me. they're in complete denial. this characterizes the supposed 'radical left' of the democratic party led by the likes of bernie sanders. he's currently touring the country with aoc rabble rousing progressives with empty promises like how we're going to have universal healthcare. no timetable. sometime between now and when hell freezes over, i guess.

nobody wants to know how bad things are. nobody but me, it seems.

nefarious activity!?

just been watching an episode of the award winning documentary series on pbs EYES ON THE PRIZE titled ANATION OF LAW? which covered among other things how the FBI under j edgar hoover was dead set upon destroying the radical elements of the civil rights movement, such as the black panther party, which among other things developed programs designed to promote the well being of poor black people such as providing free breakfast to kids. regarding this particular thing, hoover wrote a memo to be distributed to his offices in which he claimed that these free breakfasts were being used to brainwash black youth ( of course the biggest brainwasher of american youth then as now was/is hoover's government, which via public schools has kids reciting every morning a 'pledge of allegiance' to that government which supposedly gives them 'liberty and justice for all'! absolute bs!). hoover wanted his agents to do everything they could to stamp out thus 'nefarious activity', referring to the free breakfasts...

with history, the devil's always in the details, and it's details such as this which reveal the true nature of the truly nefarious government of the usa.

 https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nefarious

it's well documented that hoover's FBI was involved in the assassinations of martin luther king jr. and up and coming 21 year old black panther leader fred hampton. check out the book by jeffrey haas:

The Assassination of Fred Hampton: How the FBI and the Chicago Police Murdered a Black Panther

Stand Up About Religion

good little compilation of very logical views very highly critical of dogmatic religion:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWD25A7VW7Y

Ina May Gaskin / midwifery

 i thought i'd posted an entry already in this blog about the work of Ina May Gaskin, but apparently not. acclaimed as a leading light of american midwifery, she's written seceral excellent books on this and related topics. i've read a couple of them and very highly recommend them!

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=ina+may+gaskin&i=stripbooks&crid=1VYZ61N60IV7N&sprefix=ina+may+gaskin%2Cstripbooks%2C91&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

JFK assassination: the mafia angle

 I like watching educational tv; on weekends, this includes checking out book tv on c-span, in which the authors of new nonfiction books are interviewed. Thus i came across louis ferrante, an ex mafioso whose life was transformed by going to prison, becoming an avid reader and eventually a highly acclaimed author of a memoir and a book series on the history of the american mafia. In part 2 of this series, among other things he delves into the relationship between the kennedys and the mafia and how it soured, eventually leading to JFK's assassination. According to ferrante, this assassination was primarily a mob hit. He may actually believe this, although he also acknowledges that 'rogue' CIA officers and FBI director gay edgar hoover also were involved. My own extensive research into this assassination has led me to believe that the mafia's involvement was secondary to the CIA's involvement, which was at the highest level (of course LBJ was also in on it) with director allen dulles, whose central role on the whitewashed government 'investigation' warren commission afterwards made sure to place all the blame on the 'patsy' 'lone nut' supposed shooter, lee harvey oswald.

link to this fascinating c-span interview. the part pertaining to the kennedys is towards the end of part 1:

https://www.c-span.org/event/qa/author-louis-ferrante-on-the-history-of-the-american-mafia-part-1/430594

this link is just to the audio of this interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MbgBV5LChw

For a different angle on the assassination, more focused on how JFK's desire to end the cold war upset the war establishment and CIA, this interview of jeffrey sachs by chris hedges, which i posted in a previous blog entry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqm9Yl1gGEY

And of course there's this excellent series the history channel did on the 25th anniversary of the assassination, also posted elsewhere on this blog, which quite extensively covers many facets:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2agPurqFJk&list=PLy4tRfNwO8cxuDX65cpj_qJ-9m2jzC7pn

maturity and mortality

 now that i'm old, i think about mortality a lot more than i used to. thoughts like i'll likely be dead in 20 years, or i likely only have perhaps 20 more years of relatively robust mental and physical health. this makes me more aware of fleeting time and the necessity of trying to use it well, wisely. by doing or trying to live my best life, focusing on what's most important to me, and also by trying to maximize pleasure and fulfillment (which is quite frustrated by living in a dystopia of puritanical prohibitions and inhibitions).

do u have such thoughts?

like i've written b4, i think practically every aspect of our society/culture is insane/irrational. for example we don't appropriately value the wisdom that comes with age. we don't encourage older adults to share the most valuable lessons they've learned by experience. one such lesson i've learned is that we should prioritize the pursuit of pleasure and fulfillment throughout life, particularly when we're young, healthy, vigorous, in our primes. because with age, everything goes downhill, everything deteriorates. i think the idea that we must wait til our so called golden years to prioritize our own well being and fulfillment is absurd and tragic. i feel like my own youth was sacrificed on the altar of being indoctrinated with puritanical dogmas which instilled much fear, shame, and inhibition (the primary reason i've become very critical of religion in general and puritanism in particular).

in becoming a (mostly closeted) advocate of what i'll call youth liberation, i've come across some interesting scientific articles regarding human brain development and shrinkage as we age. according to one of these articles, by age 70 our brains have shrunk back to the size they were when we were 3 years old! this was an article which presented evidence in favor of youth liberation, of treating post pubescent teenagers like adults (in science, 'puberty' delineates between juveniles and adults, at least for other species. once an animal can reproduce, it's considered an adult). it was published in scientific american. i posted about it in my blog a while back. it's author is quite distinguished and has also written a book making the same argument.

https://dystopiananddoomed.blogspot.com/2023/05/the-myth-of-teen-brain.html

https://www.amazon.com/Case-Against-Adolescence-Rediscovering-Adult/dp/188495670X