polymatchmaker is a dating website for sheeple like myself who identify as ethically non monogamous (enm) seeking to meet like minded sheeple to form enm relationships and friendships, promote the enm community and facilitate communication. it must have been a labor of love for the dedicated couple/few who began and ran the thing for the couple of decades or so it existed, for i joined for free a couple years ago. they made a modest living off of charging members a modest fee in order to actually send messages and potentially connect.
notice how i began the paragraph above referring to polymatchmaker in the present tense and ended it by referring to it in the past tense. that's because by chance i discovered that it's ceasing operation the end of this month of may 2023. i suppose as a gift of love the owners decided to allow all free members the privilege of messaging each other this last month.
i previously only paid the lowest fee charged for 'premium members', which was only like $12 for 3 months or one month, not too long or too short a time to try to make connections. i was pretty picky back then and only messaged a large handful of women or couples looking to connect. only one developed into what might generously be called a correspondence which was short lived and disappointing.a couple weeks ago i decided to update/revise my polymatchmaker profile information, but i got sidetracked when i learned about it's imminent demise and this golden opportunity to reach out for free, send up to 10 messages a day, while i still can. i've spent a few hours going through profiles of women who have potentially enough in common with my fringeness to warrant messaging them. physically, pretty and petite are what catch my eye, but at this point as a 64 year old man my libido is fading fast, so i'm prioritizing compatibility, seeking the few who come relatively close to sharing my worldview, knowledge, and awareness or 'wokeness' to the surreality of this dystopian and doomed world.thus far i've gone through a couple/few hundred such profiles that turned up in my search for the specific characteristics i sought in potential partners. i've only messaged about 3 dozen, or a couple/few on average daily, again making choices primarily based on compatibility. one might think that such discretion would yield a high percentage of responses, especially considering i informed just about all my messengees that they could message me back for free. thus far i've received only one response, from the very first woman i messaged, best described as polite, perfunctory, and discouraging further contact.it just blows my mind how sheeple in general and women in particular don't dig me. i get more rejections than ...(what's a good punchline?... i can't think of one. maybe u can). anyway, i get tons of rejection. i'm picky but not overly so. i'm open to any kind of relationship, friend or lover, as long as it's open, honest, and authentic. i've tried being very open, honest, and authentic in recent decades as the chief lesson learned from a misguided youth was that the worst lies are the ones one tells oneself. as somebody famous (shakespeare?) once wrote/said:'This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. ' (it was shakespeare)iow, if u don't want to deceive others, begin by not deceiving yourself, which i did a lot when i was young and trying my damnedest to conform; to embrace dogmatic puritanical 'faith' and 'morality'. to believe that prayer or willpower could fundamentally alter my 'sinful' human nature and make me properly 'moral' or chaste and reasonably happy still.i learned the hard way that the red pill was better than the blue one; that embracing difficult unpleasant truth is in the long run preferable to conforming to laws and conventions which went against my nature (and i dare say human nature) and which required self deception and not being my authentic self, especially when authenticity is most important, as in intimate relationships, be they between friends or lovers.unfortunately, it seems my authentic self doesn't go over well with others. my worldview tends to be widely divergent from theirs. i get rejected far, far far more in the case of women, and i don't surreally know why. i wish i did. i wish i understood a lot of things i don't and perhaps can't, in this crazy cruel world. my failure at relationships or more specifically making initial connections, perhaps a failure to create a positive or encouraging first impression, baffles me. i'm not the only sherson with unpopular, 'radical' fringe views/convictions, but i truly stand out at failing socially, and being alienated, isolated, and lonely, or so it's seemed to me, since just about the time i first embraced authenticity over conformity.
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