to my unsurprise, election 2024 results: full blown fascism on the way with trump and a republican congress. this a.m., the 'journalists' of electronic corporate media are as cheerful and chirpy as ever, manifesting their utter lack of intellect and comprehension. and so it goes in dystopia... i'm sure i've posted this 'dumb americans' carlin link before, but it bears repeating:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLODGhEyLvk
my whole life i've been made to associate sex with shame, at least publicly. privately, i'm only ashamed (now that i'm old and have learned a lot) that i'm so powerless to do anything about my own oppression, or that of my whole species.
now i see that the association of shame with sex is totally artificial, a human construct, created i'm quite sure as a tool of social control.
one of the things about this that bothers me the most now is how isolated it makes me feel that i seem to be the only sherson i know who sees this. that, and the fact that so many sheeple seem to totally buy into the oppression, the shame, the whole notion that sex, outside of that which is socially approves (i.e. legal or 'moral') is shameful or sinful and ought to be illegal, ought to be punished, that those who engage in it ought to be ostracicized, as america now does, by labelling such sheeple 'sex offenders'. it's the scarlet letter of modernity.
it pains me particularly to know that many (most?) 'progressives' don't support me on this issue.
i think about moving but where would i go? i'm sure there are some places that are less repressive and hypocritical than america, but i think it's an aspect of civilization / dystopia to associate sex with shame as a means of oppression of the masses. and civilization has spread it's ugly tentacles across pretty much the whole of the inhabitable world. i've done research to find that even going out to sea doesn't legally free one from the long arm of someone's 'law'. if it was possible to do so, no doubt there would be innumerable ships out at sea that cater to various 'vices' openly, and would thrive doing so, as i'm sure they would be very profitable.
this oppression starts with the raising of children. it's considered ok to spank them, to emotionally and psychologically abuse them (which includes instilling sexual shame and fear of punishment for being sexual)... but it's definitely not ok to treat them as little sensual or erotic beings, or to engage in any kind of consensual behavior which might tend to affirm sexuality or decouple it from shame. if we could only do this i think that sex could and would take it's rightful place as the best part of being alive.
i would write like this more except for the fact that i know even sharing such thoughts in a public domain could potentially land me in trouble with some 'authority', or even some 'private' indvidual or group that finds them offensive or dangerous and might seek to harm or harass me for doing so.
am i being paranoid? perhaps. but this is dystopia, and in dystopia, paranoia might not destroy ya, it might protect ya.
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i masturbate as often as i can now, and have done so for over 30 years, ever since i overcame the shame i'd been taught and learned that besides feeling good, it was overall beneficial. able to do so since i've almost always lived alone over that time, and had very little social life, so i was usually alone, no one around to stop or inhibit me.
no partner sex. would love to have partner(s). can't. too socially awkward. too inhibited around attractive women who aren't openly sex positive or available for a price (and nice). too sensitive about being rejected, too fearful of it, too expecting it to happen. if not for this and prostitution prohibition i would be having lots of partner sex in lieu of masturbation. either way, it's something i engage in because i find it highly pleasurable and fulfilling. i don't consider it a harmful addiction. quite the contrary. and when i say i do it as often as i can, this does not imply that i indulge foolishly. only when i'm in the mood and able, which thanks to my advancing age sadly isn't that often anymore.
i'm very resentful and unhappy about having (had) my life greatly diminished. never could live fully or fulfillingly. never anything i could do about it. an absurd cruel existence, never ending angst, frustrated desire to live more authentically. frustrated even by not having anyone to share being frustrated with.
sheeple are flocked up. lots of abusive relationships. lots of women who unconsciously or consciously are attracted to abusive men, perhaps because they come across as 'bad' and 'bad boys' are more attractive than nice men, who tend to be meek and more passive.
when it comes to eros, this is truly a dystopian world. can't forget this quote, which i haven't used lately:
'it is no sign of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society' -krishnamurti
"is it possible we're terrible people?"is i -homer simpson (lol)
harsh truths are suppressed in dystopia. the terribleness of war. and all the suppressed history of things like lynchings and police brutality and abuse of power (what gets in the media is unavoidable and just the tip of the proverbial iceberg). i could go on and on. what's the use? most don't care and the few who do r powerless like me. i digress.
of course homer simpson is a cartoon character and just about everything he says is unintentionally hilarious, ironic, and occasionally a suppressed harsh truth. considering human history. especially suppressed history, it's hard not to conclude that humans in general tend to be terrible. ignorant bigoted violent deceitful corrupt and on and on. capitalism is an insane and corrupt economic system that rewards sociopaths, enriches and empowers them to rule over us. control and exploit those of us who aren't insane sociopaths hell bent on turning a living planet into a dead pile of money by cruelly exploiting everything they can, including those of us, proles, who aren't like them.
evolution is blind. look at how it produced us, this ecological cancer called civilization. this 'intelligent' species that out of ignorance and corruption and indifference (i'm indifferent!) is ensuring it will soon go extinct.
nobody wants to discuss or acknowledge this, which to me is just another manifestation of how we're terrible.
my social skills r abysmal but that shouldn't matter if my message is factual and vitally important, no one wants to hear it. it's disrespected, disliked, unappreciated.
anyhow, when i heard homer say that, i thought it was terribly funny and also terribly true. homer was just referring to himself and a couple of drinking buddies when he asked that question, but it's easy to imagine it applying to us all. it certainly does to me, too often.
i'm frustrated that nobody wants to read this blog but also perversely comforted by it. for if i had a following, i don't know where i'd lead them. i am powerless, have no control over fate, including that of myself. which is hardly comforting or reassuring. i think this applies to us all, for we're all limited, flawed, vulnerable, and mortal. surely nature will have it's way with us all, for nature is god.
food for thought and perhaps discussion?
Occasionally i like to read nonfiction books which add to my awareness that American 'justice' is rotten to the core. I'm reading one such book now: THE TRIALS OF WALTER OGROD and just came across something so juicy i'd like to share it with u. This is from p.183-184 which quotes extensively from a 1986 training video tape shown to young prosecutors in Philadelphia to train them in the process of 'voir dire' or jury selection. I'm editing it a little for the sake of brevity and clarity.
the title of this is the title of mary trump's newly published book, a memoir about her own dysfunctional upbringing and lasting sense of social isolation and alienation from family, topics which highly resonate with me. other than that it wasn't a particularly noteworthy work. it did reinforce the message of her first book about the dysfunctional trump family with much focus on the patriarch fred trump, her paternal grandfather, a 'sociopath without normal human emotions' who she blames for destroying her father's life and having a great influence on her narcisistic uncle donald, ex and possible future president of the u.s..
an interesting and unexpected facet of the book was the revealing portrait of her mother as a largely detached, uncaring parent overwhelmed by her own sense of having been shafted by life and battling chronic depression. mary relates how as a child suffering from severe asthma attacks that often came late at night, leaving her gasping for air, she would go to her mother for help, who instead of taking her immediately to a nearby hospital would tell her to get in bed with her and then go back to sleep or feign going back to sleep, leaving mary to suffer until morning came (this was after her parents had divorced and her hapless alcoholic dad was no longer around to be of help). she also related late in the book how her mother continued to make her feel unworthy of attention/love long after she became an adult, by continuously interrupting her in conversation and claiming to be unable to hear her although she stated that her hearing aid otherwise worked perfectly well. this strongly reminded me of my own relationship with my father, who always gave me the impression that anything i said to him went in one ear and immediately out the other.
the last strong takeaway i have from this book was another passage towards the end when she states that watching her awful uncle donald get elected POTUS was like a hallucination, it was so hard to believe. my response to that would be, no, it's not a hallucination, it's a symptom of living in a dystopian world!
just about every day since the most recent israeli war began last october, there's been news reports of israel murdering scores of palestinian civilians in gaza, where they live and die like sitting ducks who have no where to flee to escape this insane violence. today was no different, just as the reporting of it on american tv news was no different. it's reported with absolutely no sense of outrage, no sense that this bombing of defenseless civilians is an outrageous atrocity. apparently palestinian lives aren't worthy of such outrage from america's 'independent' media. otoh, whenever there's a 'terrorist attack' by some palestinian who's rightfully fed-up with what israel has been doing to his people, perhaps a suicide bombing that kills one or 2 or a few israelis, it's reported much differently. this ongoing disparity in reporting this deadly violence is sickening, just as is the ongoing steadfast american government support in terms of supplying free military aid and political cover to the war criminal israeli regime. as is the american sheeple's apparent indifference or lack of awareness to this disparity. if the american sheeple had any brains and compassion they might just perceive it and demand an end to it by refusing to continue to support the zionist political parties that enable it. however i'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen and u shouldn't either. i don't recall who it was that said or wrote something to the effect that it's impossible to over estimate the stupidity or gullibility of the public, but they were certainly right!
