in science i trust

71 years ago ike decreed that the u.s. adopt the saying 'in god we trust' as a national motto. it now appears on u.s. money and in the 'pledge of allegiance'.

i don't trust in god. i don't believe in god. if there is a god, it doesn't strike me as trustworthy. it's a shady character. it doesn't want to be known or understood. and judging by this world it may have created, it strikes me as insane. not to mention cruel or at least utterly indifferent to suffering.

i believe in science. the answers it provides may not always be satisfying, but they're honest, evidence based, and logical, at least to the extent that logic can be applied to this manifestly illogical world.

i wish i had never been born. i was given no choice in the matter. now that i'm here, i've also been given no choice in the matter of my biological nature. i wish to survive and thrive.

but this world is not conducive to this desire. i will die, and until then, i will not thrive. i do not fit in with my fellow species. i'm not dogmatic and i'm not puritanical. i hate war and violence and i love sex. i wish to fit in but i can't. i feel as though i'm an alien in this world.

radical and impotent

 this is some of what i'd like to say to some sheeple:

i've been a fan of abby martin's for several years, going back to when she had a news program on RT about 10 years ago. that was before someone with power decided to ban certain 'propaganda' programs from america's internet.

in case u didn't know RT stood for 'russia today' it was sort of a russian version of american propaganda meant for an international audience like radio free europe. it's funded by the russian government, and it would give a voice to american radical journalists like martin that corporate american media denied, because american corporate media effectively censors anyone whose criticism of america is so fundamental as to fundamentally criticize american capitalism, militarism, and imperialism, among other things.

reader, are u aware that american corporate media is more propaganda than free, objective journalism? did u know that u can get more accurate and complete reporting on what's happening in the world and america's role in it by accessing sources like RT which the establishment has banned?

take for example the state of israel and america's unwavering and total military and diplomatic support of it since it's inception nearly 80 years ago. according to corporate media this has always been justified because israel is a beacon of enlightened democracy and a staunch ally in a region of the world which is largely undemocratic and anti-american. it's also portrayed as a haven of terrorists which have victimized israel and it's western allies, which is why israel needs a strong military and is justified whenever it's gone to war or attacked nearby countries.

hopefully u've noticed that during israel's current 'war' in gaza that corporate media has been going to great lengths to gaslight or deceive the public. they deny a genocide is taking place even though they're reporting daily that tens or scores or hundreds of palestinians trapped in gaza are being murdered by the israeli military (using western supplied munitions) and now they're starving to death because israel won't allow aid in. 'western' governments in general (especially america) deny a genocide is occuring and continue to support israel. western corporate media have no criticism of these governments.

if u've done much independent research or reading on the subject, u may also have become aware that this propaganda and gaslighting regarding israel and it's neighbors isn't just a recent phenomenon. it goes back at least to israel's 'war for independence' in 1948 in which israel violently killed and expelled hundreds of thousands of palestinians from what had been their own homeland for generations. many of the israelis then as now were relatively recent settlers coming primarily from europe and north america. so this was /is a settler colonialist project, much like when european colonists settled the americas by genociding the native peoples and taking their land.

u may also be aware that this isn't the only issue that our government and media have long been gaslighting us on. or u may not, which is partly my purpose in writing this.

the concept of being 'woke' in america has become a political bone of contention, and it hasn't even surreally dealt with what i'm dealing with here, which is the apparent fact that the american establishment has for decades if not centuries been engaged in systematically gaslighting the public and apparently doing so successfully, judging by the public's patriotic support of it.

2 weeks later: i don't know how to finish this properly, so i'm just publishing as is.

Israel Is a Death Cult, Politicians Are Cowards & the Media Is Rotten, w/ Abby Martin

alienation and isolation in bath, ny

It seems forever i've been very unhappy with my (lack of a) social life here in 'rural' amerikkka. this has been particularly true since my divorce nearly 40 years ago and subsequent immersion in hermetic autodidactic research into what exactly is going on in this surreal world, where power resides and to what purposes is it striving for.

this has all been compounded or a result of what i now view as a near life long neurotic pathological aversion to being social, to relating to people or just being around them. i can only speculate that this may be due to my upbringing in a family, community, and nation which isn't nurturing or conducive to authentic self expression and the development of intimacy, which is to say trusting, honest, open relationships.

for years i've idly daydreamed about escaping this kafkaesque life by moving to another place that would be more conducive to the life i seek. of course this would entail a major life upheaval and considerable initial expense, but probably the biggest reason i haven't done so has to do with what i expressed in the paragraph immediately above: my deeply ingrained aversion to social contact. or, iow that this problem may have more to do with my inner 'demons' than outer social environment...

if this be the case, can these 'demons' be conquered? i deeply doubt it, without the help of psychedelic therapy, which thanks to the dystopian 'war on drugs' is only accessible in a few faraway places, again entailing some considerable expense and effort on my part to access... i've yet to do so because of this, and because of fear that even this hope may turn out to be illusory.

so for now, as always before, i'm stuck in a rut (of my own making?) of profound dissatisfaction with my life and world. there are a few hopeful leads i'm pondering over, such as attempting to contact and meet with richard dolan, a noted expert in the field of ufology who has manifested a deep interest and knowledge of 'conspiracy theories' like those of the JFK assassination and 9/11 similar to my own.

u see, while i have quite a few friendly acquaintances here in maga america, i have no true friends, by which i mean nobody with whom i can share my deepest, most authentic thoughts and desires. this is very frustrating. at least with richard dolan i might be able to experience fellowship based on our mutual interest in the 'invisible government' and what or who exactly is behind it. facilitating this desire to contact him is the fact that he apparently resides in nearby rochester ny. after finishing this post, i just may try to contact him again (have already done so, unsuccessfully).

i would especially appreciate his take on the views and assertions expressed in this lengthy youtube video which deals primarily with the historical development of highly concentrated, ruthless, and deceitful wealth and power in the western world, and on the many fascinating details surrounding the mysterious assassination of JFK. of particular note here is the claim that the associated murder of dallas police officer j.d. tippet was part of this intricate plot, in that tippet bore a striking resemblance to JFK and that his body was surreptitiously exchanged with that of kennedy as part of the effort to fudge the results of his autopsy as part of the effort to fool the public with the conclusions reached by the discredited official investigation into that seminal event of american history, the warren report.

 JFK to 9/11: Everything is a Rich Man's Trick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEqzr8f3JKg